Valentine’s Day is often associated with love, but the ancient Greek and Roman festival may serve to lock men and women into traditional gender roles and preconceived social expectations.
“Taking part in Valentine’s Day is not a choice, but a demand, which detracts from its image as a day when people do things out of love,” said Ian Morrison, assistant professor of sociology. “There is a lot of pressure associated with this holiday because it has become an obligation or a show.”
Morrison explained that men are expected to buy gifts to show their affection for their female “Valentine,” and it is understood that women –– as the more sensitive, or emotionally needy, member of the relationship –– care more about this ritual than men do. “On this day, expression of emotion is expected from the male partner, who is believed to be more aloof and less emotionally aware than his female counterpart,” he said, adding that the media and advertising reinforce the idea that Valentine’s Day is important, as well as the gender roles that play out in how the holiday is celebrated.
“Ads generally show that women care a lot about Valentine’s Day, while men are prone to forgetting this holiday, inevitably angering their partner, which requires them to make a grand and expensive gesture,” Morrison said. “Thus, the commercialization of the holiday reinforces and relies on a traditional, heteronormative understanding of gender roles and characteristics.”
According to Morrison, the issue is exacerbated in U.S. culture, where education about the pressure of Valentine’s Day begins at a young age. “A prominent image associated with the holiday is that of small children exchanging Valentine cards,” he explained.
In the United States, it is traditional for children to give out Valentine cards in their elementary school classroom, with the expectation that each child will receive a card from every other classmate. However, this is often not the case, as children catch on quickly to the meanings and uses of Valentine’s Day. According to Morrison, Valentine’s Day pressures and expectations are inculcated, often in a visceral, painful manner, from a young age. “As a child, not getting a Valentine is a sign of how other people feel about you,” he said. “This conveys that you are unpopular or not liked.”
As a result, Valentine’s Day is now commonly dismissed in Western culture as a Hallmark holiday, meaning that it is merely a device for compelling consumerism — specifically the consumption of flowers, jewelry, chocolate, greeting cards and all manner of heart-shaped paraphernalia. “It has become common for people to reject Valentine’s Day by taking part in anti-Valentine’s Day celebrations,” Morrison said.
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The stereotypes often associated with Valentine's day are just another example of how men and women are confined to gender roles by society. Everyone remembers the elementary school Valentine's Day parties that were inevitably popularity parties. Whoever had the biggest and the coolest box was admired by the entire class. Boys brought cards with cars and trucks, girls brought cards with flowers and puppies. They would give the best candy to the cutest boy or cutest girl and only their best friends got candy at all.
Once the kids grow up and the school parties stop, finding a "Valentine" is the responsibility of the person, and not having one is not an option. Society puts more stress on having a "Valentine" on women in comparison to men. If a woman does not have a man buying her something on this holiday she is told to feel alone and unwanted. Men are told to find a "Valentine" and to be a good "Valentine" in order to get certain favors from women.
In order for someone to be a good "Valentine" society has given us a basic check list for men and women to follow. Men buy flowers and chocolate and pay for dinner, women look nice and repay men later. If the roles were reversed between men and women, it would bring only negatives on the situation.
In society, heterosexual relationships are all based off of performance. Men work hard and bring home the money, women work hard and keep the house clean. It is becoming a lot more lenient today compared to years ago, but nevertheless it is still very obvious that society places roles and models for what relationships should look like from the outside and function like on the inside.
--Becca Schulte
“Taking part in Valentine’s Day is not a choice, but a demand, which detracts from its image as a day when people do things out of love,” said Ian Morrison, assistant professor of sociology. “There is a lot of pressure associated with this holiday because it has become an obligation or a show.”
Morrison explained that men are expected to buy gifts to show their affection for their female “Valentine,” and it is understood that women –– as the more sensitive, or emotionally needy, member of the relationship –– care more about this ritual than men do. “On this day, expression of emotion is expected from the male partner, who is believed to be more aloof and less emotionally aware than his female counterpart,” he said, adding that the media and advertising reinforce the idea that Valentine’s Day is important, as well as the gender roles that play out in how the holiday is celebrated.
“Ads generally show that women care a lot about Valentine’s Day, while men are prone to forgetting this holiday, inevitably angering their partner, which requires them to make a grand and expensive gesture,” Morrison said. “Thus, the commercialization of the holiday reinforces and relies on a traditional, heteronormative understanding of gender roles and characteristics.”
According to Morrison, the issue is exacerbated in U.S. culture, where education about the pressure of Valentine’s Day begins at a young age. “A prominent image associated with the holiday is that of small children exchanging Valentine cards,” he explained.
In the United States, it is traditional for children to give out Valentine cards in their elementary school classroom, with the expectation that each child will receive a card from every other classmate. However, this is often not the case, as children catch on quickly to the meanings and uses of Valentine’s Day. According to Morrison, Valentine’s Day pressures and expectations are inculcated, often in a visceral, painful manner, from a young age. “As a child, not getting a Valentine is a sign of how other people feel about you,” he said. “This conveys that you are unpopular or not liked.”
As a result, Valentine’s Day is now commonly dismissed in Western culture as a Hallmark holiday, meaning that it is merely a device for compelling consumerism — specifically the consumption of flowers, jewelry, chocolate, greeting cards and all manner of heart-shaped paraphernalia. “It has become common for people to reject Valentine’s Day by taking part in anti-Valentine’s Day celebrations,” Morrison said.
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The stereotypes often associated with Valentine's day are just another example of how men and women are confined to gender roles by society. Everyone remembers the elementary school Valentine's Day parties that were inevitably popularity parties. Whoever had the biggest and the coolest box was admired by the entire class. Boys brought cards with cars and trucks, girls brought cards with flowers and puppies. They would give the best candy to the cutest boy or cutest girl and only their best friends got candy at all.
Once the kids grow up and the school parties stop, finding a "Valentine" is the responsibility of the person, and not having one is not an option. Society puts more stress on having a "Valentine" on women in comparison to men. If a woman does not have a man buying her something on this holiday she is told to feel alone and unwanted. Men are told to find a "Valentine" and to be a good "Valentine" in order to get certain favors from women.
In order for someone to be a good "Valentine" society has given us a basic check list for men and women to follow. Men buy flowers and chocolate and pay for dinner, women look nice and repay men later. If the roles were reversed between men and women, it would bring only negatives on the situation.
In society, heterosexual relationships are all based off of performance. Men work hard and bring home the money, women work hard and keep the house clean. It is becoming a lot more lenient today compared to years ago, but nevertheless it is still very obvious that society places roles and models for what relationships should look like from the outside and function like on the inside.
--Becca Schulte